THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1.
Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good
food and companionship
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2.
We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas.

3.
I take my wife everywhere....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said 'There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!' So
I bought her an electric chair.

7.
My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked wher e the car was. She told me, 'In the lake.'

8.
She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, 'Am I too late for the garbage?'
The driver said, 'No, jump in!'

10.
Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

12.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?'
I said, 'Dust!'